by Bedhed

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released November 9, 2012



all rights reserved
Track Name: Blank (a member of the wedding)
1994, I said "Show me in your eyes".
You said you'd "try but they lie sometimes".
I said "It's okay", I said "they're blue like the sky".
You said "Okay, but they're grey, too, when I cry".

"I can't sleep anymore without this".
"I can smell it on your breath, it's sick".
"I guess I'll move on. I'll just exist. Mom, I'm the same kid you hit".

"You'll see my love, not for them, just because".

The sun it set and over me you towered,

"I'll be your flower".

These walls want my medicine,
but I won't give it to them.
I watch your shadow's hand on his.
You gave birth to an afterthought. Afterbirth,
you enrolled in God, you grew up, she grew thin.
Now I'm an open sore in store for a final accident.

She lies sleeping. You lied and you don't seem like you wanted to
You're just as I want you, but I don't want to.

Watch your kids for a couple hours,
I'm still your flower.
Track Name: Anything of Hers
Fell into a hole today
something I dug in my own brain.
I could write it off and tell myself I'm wrong.
But, I know these aren't for everyone.
I could almost smile to everyone but the sun beat down and I fell for so long.

Come and hold me while I drown,
the only time you're above ground.
I know I said I'm lonely and bored,
but now I know it's so much more.

I wonder where you are from and where your father was when you got drunk and where I'm going with you now and what we'll do.
It can only be a certain place,
a part of you you thought erased.
I've tried myself a hundred times, too.

Come and hold me while I grow inside,
outside is ruined.
Snow falls on the street and every breath is slow.
I love to watch you laugh when you're alone.

I hold myself during these times.
I'm tired on loss and high on wine.
You're so far away but I am right here.
I keep it with me everywhere, this helplessness thing.
I've almost cared myself to shreds and been lost forever there.

We never find who we're taught to serve
and it's a shame that we all eat birds.
I miss you now, but I don't eat my words.
But I'd eat anything of hers.
Track Name: Ward off the Hurt
This sense of loss is overblown,
they all left a long time ago.
I'm not lost, but I'm not home.

The stress of loss has overgrown.
To need some sleep to call your own don't bother me.
You are not alone.
You are lost and you are home.

I've been cut before,
I don't fear the sight of blood.
I've been hurt even more,

What I fear is not the cut.

I found your heart in the dirt.
I brushed it off, I used my shirt.
I'll be the one to ward off the hurt.
Track Name: Negative flowers
Woke up, I felt fine.
Don't blame anyone.
The yoke of time.

But a certain something plagues my mind.
A certain someone of mine.

And I've been thinking, too,
of marrying you while I'm black with the blues.
Not the love I told you to.

Water falls from the spines of the umbrella like an IV drip.
I am cut up in her mind.
Let me fall, let me slip.

And how much will it take for me to fall awake?
And what cost for a mate?
(how much) Must I take?

Water falls from their eyes, mine are fine.
I'd drown in their brine.
A stupid thought,
the loving kind.

"Fiona come closer, shut softly your watery eyes..."

Track Name: Weeks
If I live long enough would you still forget?
If I make it through the week, and into next?
Could you almost hear how the story went?
Now embraced by dirt, you'll marry him.

Fall into the weeds, are they not free?
Sleep with the trees.
Would you sleep with me?

Now, I've found someone.
My days are free, the strength of love.
But, in a place I keep, something's wrong.

Fall into the weeks.
Would you lose them all for me?
And is it really free?
Would you?
Track Name: Please Tell Me
Please tell me there's a road from here
that takes my hand and takes me there.
My only wish is not to fear.
Please tell me there's a road to there.

Please tell me there's some truth to love.
How matter-of-fact it all becomes.
I fear that I have been outrun.
Please tell me there's some truth to love.

Please tell my friends that I am wrong
in thinking that it's all become
and endless mess, a blackened tongue.
Please tell my friends that I am wrong.
Track Name: Sickbreaker
Hold what I love like a knife,
but it's not love I feel inside.
Some just want someone to bite.
I'll hold my love, it gets cold at night.

Still not there, stars aren't too hard to share.
Still don't care, I see you painted everywhere.


I think I need a quarantine, I rub my eyes
with gasoline.
If you just wouldn't be so mean.
I need a friend to keep me clean.

Still don't care, scars aren't too hard to share.
Still not there, I see you painted everywhere.
Track Name: Empty Cars
Illuminate my heart,
but it can't.
An empty car looks parked,
it isn't.

Wrest from my hands
the only thing I love.
Sorry 'bout your man,
Good luck.

Fall into the page
and I walk with them.
Underneath her stars
I'm sullen.
Track Name: Last Lines (let blood, let live)
I keep my nerves in check.
Keep moving toward your bed.
I'm always falling for the dead.

Let blood and let live.

I grab for the lights.
It's not dark when you're so bright.
If you can find it in my eyes
I can find it anytime.

And I wont be so afraid when I get my gun,
I'll keep it with me when they fight.

You're stronger for it.
Nothing's born to be missed.
You wanted her for this.
Let love and let live.

" No coward soul is mine,
No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere:
I see Heaven's glories shine,
And faith shines equal, arming me from fear.

O God within my breast,
Almighty, ever-present Deity!
Life--that in me has rest,
As I--undying Life--have power in Thee!

Vain are the thousand creeds
That move men's hearts: unutterably vain;
Worthless as wither'd weeds,
Or idlest froth amid the boundless main,

To waken doubt in one
Holding so fast by Thine Infinity;
So surely anchor'd on
The steadfast rock of immortality.

With wide-embracing love
Thy Spirit animates eternal years,
Pervades and broods above,
Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates, and rears.

Though earth and man were gone,
And suns and universes ceased to be,
And Thou were left alone,
Every existence would exist in Thee.

There is not room for Death,
Nor atom that his might could render void:
Thou--Thou art Being and Breath,
And what Thou art may never be destroyed. "

-Emily Bronte